


Endgame

by Active_Imagination



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Civil War Team Captain America, Dark Thoughts, Hopefully some fluff, M/M, Not My Steve, PTSD, anti tony stark, two dudes watching a movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-03-26 06:54:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19000636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Active_Imagination/pseuds/Active_Imagination
Summary: Alex and Kyle watch Marvel's "Endgame (2019)". Alex didn't like it as much as Kyle hoped he would, and listens to the reasons why.





	Endgame

“You're a geek, aren't you, Alex?” Kyle blurted out, no maliciousness in his voice. If anything, there was a slightly anxious tone. Alex just rose an eyebrow, challenging Kyle to continue. “I just... superheroes... there's a... movie – “

 

“Kyle. What are you trying to say?” Alex eventually took pity on the man.

 

“Avengers Endgame. The multiplex has a showing at 7. It's only an hour's drive. I was thinking of watching it, but I've never seen any of the other movies before.”

 

“So you're going to start... At Endgame.” Kyle was starting to think it was a dumb idea. Worse. He thought Alex thought it was a dumb idea.

 

“But if you come with me, you can explain it all to me.”

 

“There's no talking during the movie, Valenti.” Alex was very strict about that. He wasn't going to survive war only to be attacked by an angry theatre crowd.

 

“You can explain it to me afterwards. Over burgers. My treat. Please don't look so sceptical.”

 

“I just don't think you know what you're getting yourself into. The movie is over three hours long. And it's probably going to involve time travel of some sort, because there's no way they're going to leave all those people dead. I mean, they made Thanos a dumbass who thought that the way to make planets better was to destroy half of all living things, including the resources he says make people greedy and selfish.” Alex didn't mean to start to rant, it just happened.

 

“Okay... what?” Kyle could keep up with the marvels of modern medicine, but trying to understand a Marvel movie had him feeling slightly lost,

 

Alex bit his tongue, but it wasn't hard enough to stop the torrent of criticism he'd been wanted to unload for a while.

 

“It's just... in the comics, his motive is because he wants to bone Lady Death. Which is still a dumb motive, but makes more sense than … whatever he's doing in the movies.”

 

“You really want to see it, don't you?”

 

“I really do.”

 

“So come and see it on the big screen with me. No talking until after it's over. I promise.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Okay?”

 

“Sounds cool. I'm in.”

 

“Cool.” Kyle beamed. “I'll pick you up here at 6. It'll be fun.” Kyle declared, walking off, leaving a caffeine deprived Alex wondering what just happened.

 

* * *

 

The day dragged for both Kyle and Alex. For once, things seemed quiet at the hospital, and it was mostly paperwork to catch up on. Kyle couldn't concentrate.

 

Alex wasn't much better, holed up in the cabin, trying to enjoy the peace, but his mind was far too loud. He always knew his father was a monster, and he realized he was naïve to think he took the brunt of it. So many others suffered at his father's hands, and Alex couldn't help but think he could have done something to stop it sooner.

 

He tried not to think about that.

 

It was hard not to think.

 

Maria was always so good at quieting his mind, but he couldn't go to her right now. He missed her. He missed Michael like crazy, more than he thought he ever would. Alex tried to tell himself it's no more than he deserved. Alex walked away from Michael so many times, and that hurt. Michael walking away from him hurt more. And Alex had no idea how to fix it.

 

* * *

 

It was the highlight of Kyle's day when Alex arrived with two home-made cheeseburgers in tin foil.

 

“I know it's not much, but hopefully it's better than hospital cafeteria food. Truth is, I was going crazy in that cabin. No orders. Nothing to do. No way to help. Is there anything I can do here to help?”

 

“Yeah, shut up and eat your burger.” Kyle retorted, leading the way to the cafeteria.

 

“I'm serious, Kyle.” Alex insisted, following Kyle.

 

“Too serious, Alex. You've got to stop blaming yourself for... everything. You aren't to blame. For any of this.”

 

“My dad is, though. I don't think I ever thanked you, for what you did. I don't think I could have done it. And I don't know what to do now. This isn't a long term solution.”

 

“Don't think about that for now, okay? We'll figure it out together, later.” Kyle sat down, suddenly exhausted. He couldn't stand the way Alex was looking at him, lost and a little hopeful, it broke Kyle's heart. He distracted himself by tucking into the burger, only now realizing how hungry he was. Alex did the same.

 

They were both peacefully oblivious to the world around them as they ate, Kyle munching loudly and making appreciative noises that helped Alex to quieten his mind briefly. It was a shame that it had to end, but Kyle had to get back to work. Alex looked so lost, Kyle had to take pity on him.

 

“Y'know, the hospital computer system has been a little slow lately. Do you maybe want to take a look at it?”

 

Alex beamed, grateful. “Thankyou.”

 

“You're the one doing me a favour. I'll see you later. Endgame. Don't forget.”

 

 

Alex forgot. He lost track of time, having overhauled the server, he was installing a simple gaming system to keep the nurses and some of the patients entertained.

 

“You ready to go?” Kyle asked, signing the last of his paperwork for the day. “Oh come on.” Alex was surrounded by a harem of nurses, male and female. “I reserved us tickets.”

 

“Right. I promise I can finish the setup later.” Alex tried to appease the nurses as Kyle dragged him away, much to the protest of the staff.

 

“I think you work here now.”

 

“I can think of worse things, can't you?” Alex didn't give Kyle chance to answer. He climbed into the passenger seat and started adjusting the radio before Kyle could process the implications or his own feelings.

 

Alex blared some screamo 90's music that made Kyle wince, but he couldn't bring himself to change the station. Alex looked relaxed. He looked like he knew he was safe, like the music was a shield he could hide behind. Alex deserved that. He deserved more.

 

Kyle found it amazing Alex could actually fall asleep with that music blaring. He was grateful for it keeping him awake, but Alex felt safe and happy enough to fall asleep. It made Kyle's chest swell. It was like he was seventeen again, but this time he could handle it. Mostly.

 

As loud as the music was, it wasn't loud enough to chase away Alex's nightmares.

 

Thankfully, they didn't kick in until they were almost at the multiplex, so Kyle only had to endure Alex's tossing and whimpering for a few minutes. Those minutes felt like hours, constantly glancing over, almost crashing the car before he finally was able to pull into the car park.

 

Kyle didn't know how he was going to wake Alex up, but Alex woke with a start when Kyle killed the engine, and the music. Alex's hand reached for a weapon he no longer carried, unsure where he was but ready for battle.

 

“I still don't know anything about Marvel.” Kyle remarked, a lame attempt to contextualize the situation for Alex.

 

“Time for Endgame.” It was a statement, not a question from Alex. He was still in military mode. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sleep. I should have briefed you. 10 years of Marvel canon going into this movie. Kind of don't want it to end.”

 

“Okay, things are getting too real. I just wanted to take you to a movie. But this isn't a movie. It's a THING, isn't it?”

 

“It's ten years of escapism and adventure.” Alex admitted, a little sheepish. “It's the end of an era, but that's okay. I'm looking forward to what the future will have to offer.” Alex smiled, a small, sad smile that was also oddly hopeful. Kyle couldn't think of a reply. “Come on. We're gonna be late.”

 

They grabbed large popcorn with a small drink, making sure to visit the restroom before taking their seats.

 

“Three hours of action and saving the universe. You don't want to miss a second.” Alex was beaming, and Kyle grinned, more excited for Alex's reactions than the movie itself.

 

The movie had barely started, but Alex seemed frustrated and upset. That negativity only seemed to increase as the movie went on. When the audience cheered that Thor beheaded the bad guy, Alex winced. During the group therapy, Alex was holding his breath. The audience laughed, Alex flinched. As some of the audience sobbed, Alex rolled his eyes.

 

By the end, Alex was radiating anger, even though he clapped for the actor's credits at the end. He left pretty quickly, hissing in pain as his leg prevented him from leaving at the pace he'd like.

 

“What about the end credits?” Kyle asked, helping Alex out.

 

“It's called Endgame, Kyle. There's no end credits to this one.” That was a good thing, because it let them hit the head before the restrooms became crowded.

 

“I'm guessing you didn't like the movie as much as I thought you would.” Kyle ventured. He'd never seen anybody urinate angrily before, and he was a doctor. Not that he was watching Alex pee. Kyle moved to the urinal, realizing he should pee to make things less awkward. And because he needed to pee.

 

“You can't talk about the movie in public, Valenti.”

 

“There's no one else here!” Kyle started to object, but then guys came pouring into the room. Some familiar faces from the audience, but some fresh faces. It was only a little after ten, and there was still another showing of Endgame due to start. Kyle was forced to keep his silence, but really, he was just biding his time.

 

“What do you want to eat? There's a great Italian place. We can split a pizza.”

 

“Burgers and pizza in one day? Just what kind of a doctor are you?”

 

“Pizza can be medicinal.” Kyle argued. “It's comfort food. Good for the soul. And you look like you could use a little comfort food right now.”

 

“You're right. I want shawarma.” Alex realized Kyle didn't get the reference. “After the battle of New York in 2012, the Avengers ate shawarma to celebrate.”

 

“Okay, so, are you actually craving shawarma or are you just nostalgic for the past.” Alex scoffed at Kyle's remark, a little bitter and pained.

 

“I just want some meat. I know you can't go back to the past. Not to live, anyway.”

 

“I knew it. I knew you didn't like the movie. So why don't you talk about it?”

 

“If you can't say anything nice, you should say nothing at all.”

 

“Says who, Alex? Because, in my medical opinion, if something is upsetting you, you should feel free to tell me about it.”

 

“It's just a movie. Come on. My phone says there's a shawarma place, about a fifteen minute walk from here.”

 

“How's your leg?” Kyle asked when he noticed Alex wince. Alex paused, knowing Kyle had seen him wince, wishing he could hide it better.

 

“It's a little uncomfortable, but I can manage. Lots of people have it worse than me.”

 

“Just because others have it worse, doesn't mean you don't deserve better.”

 

“Did you mean to use a double negative?” Alex snarked.

 

“I have crutches in the car. It'd only take me a minute to grab them.” Kyle offered, patiently waiting for a reply. Alex nodded slightly, and Kyle leapt at the chance to help Alex. He was gone for no more than two minutes. Alex waited, trying not to dwell on his feelings about the movie they just saw. He took the crutches gratefully as they started walking to the restaurant.

 

“It's just...” Alex started, glancing at Kyle, almost as if he needed permission to continue. Kyle tried to silently encourage him. “It's just, they really hyped up that this would be the first MCU movie with an openly LGBTQ character.”

 

“I must have missed that.”

 

“Yeah. It was a cameo by the director. At the therapy group. His unnamed character talked about going on a date with a guy.”

 

“Ah. I'm sorry.”

 

“I guess I should be grateful. Nobody reacted with homophobia. Captain America didn't even blink an eye, he just accepted it, which is great. It's huge, really. But it doesn't feel it. And Joe Russo has already had cameos in MCU movies, as different characters. Doesn't feel like the best representation, but at least it was there. I shouldn't be disappointed.”

 

“Hey, it's okay to feel disappointed, Alex. You have every right to be. You deserve to see yourself up on that screen. Not as some nameless extra, but as a hero. You are a real life superhero, Alex. You shouldn't need a movie to tell you that, but you deserve one. So don't say you shouldn't feel disappointed. You're allowed to feel whatever you feel. You've earned it.”

 

They walked in silence for several minutes.

 

“Thanks.” Alex muttered, softly but sincerely.

 

“Any time.” Kyle replied, with matching sincerity. “I know that's not your only issue with the movie. I'm here, if you want to --”

 

“This should be the restaurant. Shawarma is more of a street meat, and this place looks expensive. You sure you want to eat here?”

 

“Looks good.” It kind of looked intimate and romantic, but Kyle didn't want Alex walking any further, he could tell his leg was bothering him more than he let on. He was willing to pay, just to sit and eat and hear Alex talk. “Can we get a table for two?” Kyle asked the lady working at front door.

 

“And can we get a server who doesn't mind being spoiled about Endgame?”

 

“Oh honey.” The waitress smiled. “Everybody here has already been spoiled. Nobody has managed to survive a shift without hearing about that movie. But thank you, for being so considerate. Come this way.” She led them to their table and handed them their menus, leaving them to decide what to choose.

 

“You really hated it, didn't you?” Kyle could tell by the way Alex's jaw was clenched. His whole body was rigid.

 

“No. I mean, I really liked Stan Lee's cameo. And that Thor got to see him mom, even though I...” Alex cut himself off, trying not to say anything bad. “I liked Professor Hulk. He's one of my favourite characters. Although Hulk's personality seemed to be gone, not merged. More of a buff Bruce than Professor Hulk. Kind of wish we'd gotten a whole movie of that process.” Alex fell silent again, realizing he'd framed it as a negative.

 

“You're hot for Hulk!” Kyle exclaimed, trying to relieve some of the tension. Instead of denying it, Alex just grinned. Kyle had no idea how to react to that. Thankfully, that's when a waitress decided to appear.

 

“Can I get you any drinks?”

 

“I'll have a coffee.” Kyle quickly found his voice. “Do you want a beer, Alex?”

 

“Very much so.” Alex admitted, slumping in the chair.

 

“I will have a black coffee, and a pint of your finest Asgardian ale for my friend here.” The waitress chuckled. Alex shook his head, trying to act embarrassed, but his smile was blinding.

 

“Goof.” There was no malice in Alex's tone, and Kyle nodded in affirmation. It felt good to be the goof and not the bully, the jock, or the boss for once.

 

“So, that's a black coffee, no sugar, and a craft IPA.” The waitress clarified the order before leaving. With just Alex and Kyle, the mood grew more intense. Just as Kyle thought he couldn't stand the silence, Alex opened his mouth.

 

“Thankyou. For not laughing. At Thor.” Alex glanced at Kyle, as if expecting to be mocked.

 

“I didn't see anything funny.”

 

“Maybe it's the juxtaposition. Everybody is used to Chris Hemsworth looking like a marble statue. He's kind of known for it.”

 

“You're doing it again.”

 

“What?”

 

“Trying to defend and rationalize something that upset you.”

 

“I just don't get why they were laughing. Thor was obviously hurting. He lost his brother. He lost his planet. Only a handful of citizens were saved. And revenge didn't change anything. He brought that trauma on himself. I knew he'd live to regret it. Beheading Thanos. But everybody cheered. They didn't see how haunted he was. But I did. Was I seeing things that weren't there? Was I just supposed to laugh? Why couldn't I laugh?”

 

“I told you, I didn't see anything funny. And maybe I didn't see what you saw, but that's because I worry you might have seen a revenge act like that before. And I'm really sorry you had to see it again. You don't deserve that.”

 

“It's just a movie.”

 

“Not to you.”

 

“No.” It was a whispered admission, pained and ashamed.

 

“Lots of people turn to movies as an escape from their lives. They turn to movies for hope, for fun, lots of things, for lots of reasons. But like you said, it's just a movie. So it's okay to not like it. It's not okay for you to not like yourself for not liking it.”

 

“I wanted to like it. So much.”

 

“I know.”

 

“I don't want to feel this disappointed. This bitter.”

 

“What would make you feel better?”

 

“A better written movie. Better direction. The fact that Thor's depression didn't make him any less worthy is a really important message, but it's muddied by the lingering shots of his stomach, his own mother telling him to eat a salad. Thor's trauma played for comedy. And the weird thing is, Thor Ragnorak did the same with Valkyrie, but they did it better. Valkyrie was a drunken mess a lot of the time, but the whole movie had this 80's camp vibe, so it was funny like everything else.

 

Until we saw the flashback. The battle. Valkyries were elite female warriors of Asgard, but they were brutally slaughtered by Hela, Thor's sister. The lighting, the sounds, it was like a gut punch. So much loss. Survivor's guilt. It was beautifully shot. So there's no reason to recycle all that for Thor, to redo it, only worse.

 

And Valkyrie is bisexual, like the comics, but they weren't allowed to put that in the movie. They shot it, and were forced to take it out. So they tried to imply it in other ways, but it never quite made it in. Tessa Thompson said though, that in the Valkyries battle with Hela, there's a shot where she's falling back from one of her slain sisters. And she imagines that was Valkyrie's lover. Which is a headcanon that provides representation, and maximum pain. She deserves more credit than Joe Russo.

 

Taika Waititi, he was the director of Thor's Ragnorok. He deserves more credit than Joe Russo, just for the sheer campness of the movie. He also played Korg, and Korg is gay in the comics. Even though his sexuality isn't stated in the movie, he's one of my favourite characters. He's so funny. And really sweet. And soft. Even though he's made of rocks.”

 

“He's made of rocks, but you like him? Jeez, Alex. First the big green man and now a rock man? I'm worried about your taste in guys.” Kyle teased, wanting to see Alex blush.

 

“What can I say?” Alex had thought about denying it, “It's easier to find a sweet, monster man in media than it is to find a nice guy in real life.”

 

“Ouch!” Kyle chuckled. “I may be a doctor, but I'm not sure I can heal that burn.”

 

“It's true. Men are gross, and the women of Marvel are Goddesses and Queens. I don't get how men could hate Brie Larson for... for what? Because she's awesome?

Captain Marvel is amazing. Her and Maria were totally married, and they had an adorable little girl, and it's all about family. Human families, alien families, found families. The Avengers are supposed to be a found family, but they were never allowed to be because of the whole Civil War “pick a side” bullshit.”

 

The waitress hovered with their drinks, listening to Alex rant almost as intently as Kyle was.

 

“I was always team Tony. There needs to be rules.” The waitress commented, placing their drinks down. Alex took a sip, and continued to rant.

 

“Stark is a rich, white guy. He makes the rules. The Sokovia Accords were never going to help the superheroes be accountable. It was their conscience that would do that. All the Accords would do would limit their ability to help others. It made them targets and prisoners of a corrupt government. Some of them were literally imprisoned. And it was Stark who thought he deserved an apology?”

 

“The team turned against him.” The waitress no longer sounded as sure, but she still defended Stark.

 

“Did they really? He was the one who wouldn't even look for a compromise, he was the one who pushed others, he was the one looking for a fight. He recruited a kid. Spiderman is just a sweet little kid who wants to help. If he knew what the fight was about, he'd be on Captain America's side. Stark only got Peter on his side by withholding information. But Stark could never question himself, never admit he could be wrong.”

 

“I guess I never thought of it like that. But Peter wanted to fight.”

 

“Of course he did. And Stark took advantage of that, knowing Peter wouldn't question him. I don't think that's healthy. I don't think Stark is healthy. He's insecure and ego-centric, self-destructive and has a God Complex. He's a mess of a man, who sometimes thinks the world revolves around him and what scares me is when others seem to believe it too. He's just one character, and the universe is made up of so many.”

 

“I'll go see if your food is ready.” The waitress clearly didn't agree, but didn't want to start a fight. Alex didn't want to fight either.

 

“You really don't like Stark, do you?” Kyle asked, knowing Alex was holding back.

 

“I try to like everybody, but he really rubs me up the wrong way. He's a hypocrite. And I know he's traumatized, and I know I should be more sympathetic --”

 

“Says who?”

 

“What?”

 

“Who says you have to be sympathetic to Stark? You don't. Not with me. I keep telling you, you're allowed your opinion. Even if I don't know what you're talking about, as long as you're talking honestly, I'll listen.”

 

“I dunno. You might think I'm being bitchy. It's been said before.”

 

“Ok, wow. But are you forgetting... I love when you're bitchy. You remember our old chemistry teacher? If I'm having a bad day, I remember the day you snapped, and you told me about every lousy thing they'd ever done. You have a talent for finding the flaws in people, and I love hearing about it. I've missed it. I've missed us. So, please, bitch to me about Tony Stark. I am begging you.”

 

Alex took a moment to determine if Kyle was being serious or not, but the urge to complain about Tony was too strong for him to question it further.

 

“Okay, I don't want to talk about him for too long, but there's just one more thing that drives me crazy. We see that he spent millions of dollars on helping him get some closure on the crappy relationship he had with his parents before they died. Before his parents were killed. It wasn't Bucky's fault he killed them. Bucky was brainwashed and turned into the Winter Soldier. But the genius that is Tony Stark couldn't see that, and just wanted Bucky dead. He had a chance to get some closure, to forgive Bucky and mourn what they both had lost. But no. Not Stark.

 

Stark tech is the reason Wanda and Pietro's parents were killed. They were ten years old. She has more of a reason to want Stark dead, but Wanda is compassionate and willing to work as a team. Stark isn't. And he never accepts any responsibility. And he's always right, even when he's not. Stark is dangerous. He wanted to take away freedom, sacrificing it for a false sense of security. It's a dangerous mentality.”

 

“Okay, that's pretty scary.”

 

“And what's worse is that I don't think it's over. Tony died a hero's death, a martyr. He's the one who will be remembered in canon. Not Natasha. She didn't even get a funeral.”

 

“I noticed that.” Even as a casual observer, maybe especially as a casual observer, it stood out to Kyle. “Didn't seem fair. She sacrificed herself so they could get the stone, but Stark was the one who got the funeral, not her. Didn't he try to kill Bucky? So why would he show up at the funeral? He'd be there if it was a funeral for Stark and Natasha. How hard would it have been just to show a joint funeral?”

 

“Thank you, Valenti! That's what I mean. Stark has to be the centre of everything, and god forbid mourning another Avenger would detract from that.”

 

“How does the soul stone even work? You sacrifice someone you love for the stone? But we just saw her eat a peanut butter sandwich. No milk, no jelly. She clearly didn't love herself.”

 

“Dammit, Valenti!” Alex choked as beer came out his nose. Somehow, Kyle managed to act innocent, even as he felt overjoyed at the reaction he got from Alex. “You've got a point though. It's Red Skull who says you've got to sacrifice someone you love. So Thanos sacrificed his daughter, Gamora. I don't think that was love, but the fact he got the stone from it just seemed to validate an abusive relationship. It's messed up.

 

The heroes should strive to do better. It's a soul stone, and you can't take the bad guy's word on how it works. It could manifest when someone puts their heart and soul into performing a song. Or maybe it could have appeared when Hawkeye acknowledged how much he loved his family, and how lost he was without them. That takes soul.

 

Natasha would probably still jump though, because the guys don't know how to write any other story than the woman dying for further man-pain. Not on my watch. Hawkeye wouldn't let her go. Even if he dropped the stone. They'd work on getting it back. Together. And that would cause the stone to manifest at the top of the cliff again. No sacrifice. Just love.

 

That way, Natasha would be part of that epic final battle. She would have fought, together, as part of the Avenger family. She has a family. She deserves to be remembered.”

 

“I'll remember her.” Kyle vowed, sincerely. “I like your version. There was no funeral for her, because she never died.”

 

It was a different waitress who delivered their food, silently and efficiently. Alex still managed to thank her, and she nodded her acknowledgement.

 

They both waited until she had left, and then they started eating, tucking in with their bare hands, shoving the food into their mouths, barely chewing.

 

“What I don't get is the time travel thing.” Kyle mumbled, his mouth full of food. “So nothing they did would affect their universe, it would just make a new one where what they did always happened?”

 

“Yeah. Seems like lazy writing. So they didn't have to acknowledge any consequences.” Alex explained, licking his lips as meat juice dribbled down his chin.

 

“So why jump forward in time? Does that mean all Marvel movies are in 2023 from now on?”

 

Alex shook his head for the longest time, looking so bitter that Kyle almost regretted bringing it up.

 

“I doubt it. I doubt they even told the rest of Marvel about it. The cinematic universe tends to ignore the TV shows, although the TV shows try to reference the movies. The script was so secret, even the actors were shown only their lines. Can you imagine having to perform like that? Not even knowing what you're supposed to be acting against. It's not fair.”

 

“Communication is important.” Kyle agreed.

 

“I don't even know what we're supposed to take away from that story. Apart from the fact that Stark is selfish. Only we're not supposed to see that. We're supposed to see him as a saviour. Only he could figure out time travel, and only he could use the gauntlet to defeat the Big Bad and his army. But he was the one who wouldn't let them fix the five year gap.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“They made such a big deal about how their time travel is not like other time travel in media. But the reason it's like that in media is because it works. I get what they were trying to do, kind of. They wanted Stark to have that life. But they don't seem to acknowledge what they did with the snappening.”

 

“The snappening?”

 

“The decimation. Last movie, Thanos turned half of all the living things in the universe to dust. But that has consequences. Hospitals that lost patients due to staff being gone. Pilots and drivers being dusted, mid-journey, causing fatal crashes. Economic, social, psychological consequences would have occurred. And they're never addressed. The only way to really fix things would have been for our heroes to have gone back and prevented Thanos from using the stones to turn half the Galaxies to ash.”

 

“That wouldn't fix things for them, would it? That's not how their time travel works.”

 

“No. They'd be making sure another reality wouldn't have to endure the horror they've been through. That's what makes it so heroic. And to make things more ironic, the Avengers from the alternate future would be stuck there. Thanos wanted to take away resources, and now 2018 would have even more people. But that's okay because it was never really about overpopulation. It's about making sure resources are fairly distributed. And that's doable. Especially with more superheroes in the world. Ones that don't care about the government, ones that want to do what's right.”

 

“You clearly understand time travel better than I do. Heroes too.”

 

“You're a hero, Valenti. You're a Doctor.”

 

“Because of you. I mean...” Kyle took a sip of cold coffee. “You make me want to be a better man.” He winced. “I know that sounds cheesy, but it's true.”

 

“I'm not a good man, Kyle. I've done things, followed orders --”

 

“That's not your fault, Alex. You didn't have a choice.”

 

“That doesn't make it any better.”

 

“It makes you better. You can't fix the past, Alex. God knows I've tried. All you can do is make the best with what you've got in the present. And I've seen how you've handled that. Helping me decode my dad's stuff. Standing up to your father. You're doing good, Alex. I wish you could see that.”

 

“I'm not my dad. But Mimi sees it. Michael sees it. I see it. I've done stuff that would make him proud.”

 

“You can't undo that, Alex. But the stuff you've been doing with me, helping me decipher my dad's code, tracking down that military facility, that's good. You always try to help people. Always have.”

 

“Don't always succeed though.”

 

“That's not your fault, Alex. You can't save everybody, that's what I've learned as a doctor. But the important thing is to keep trying. Don't give up hope. Tell me more about your version of Endgame. The happy version of Endgame. The one that makes sense.”

 

They talked more over dessert. Beer and baklava, although Kyle stayed with black coffee, the baklava sweet enough. He didn't know half the characters Alex ranted about, but he listened, just happy to see Alex so enthusiastic.

 

Alex was still upset over Thor, and the fact he ran away from his responsibilities and abandoned Korg. Thor from the future alternate reality might rise to the task of being king, knowing his younger self is out amongst the stars and potentially looking for his brother. Alex was cynical that an overweight Thor would appear in Guardians of the Galaxy. It sounded a mess, but full of potential.

 

If Stark was allowed to keep Morgan, older Cassie Lang should get to go back to 2018 too. She'd go to school with Peter Parker, and be more like a big sister to her younger self. Her parents would willingly work out custody, because it's one of the most healthy family dynamics portrayed in media. Scott Lang is prove you don't need father issues to be an Avenger (although he might have some with Hank Pym).

 

Hawkeye should get to keep his happy family, but Ronin would stay a samurai without a master. He'd exclude himself from society as part of his penance for his crimes those five years he was a Ronin.

 

Captain Marvel would help the displaced Wakandans as Asgardians find a new planet to call home. She has experience helping refugees in space, and it would be nice to give her something to do beyond bringing Stark back to Earth. Even Kyle agreed that it was odd there was so little of her in the movie, because they set her up as so powerful, but then she was too powerful so they couldn't have her confront Thanos or the movie would be over too quickly.

 

Alex talked all about the characters he loved, the characters he wished had got more screentime, or the backstory Kyle missed out on. He talked until the restaurant was closing, but Kyle wasn't ready to leave yet. He paid the bill whilst Alex was in the bathroom. He'd left the crutches behind, and Kyle had them ready for when they had to start walking back to the car.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“Don't mention it.” They walked in silence, Alex focussed so hard on the crutches. He was a little tipsy, but still biting his tongue. Kyle was the one to bring it up again. “I'm really sorry you didn't like the movie.”

 

“It doesn't make any sense. They traumatize Thor and shoot it like it's funny. Natasha makes the ultimate sacrifice, but she's not even given an onscreen funeral. But it's Steve... he's the one I can't wrap my head around. That ending doesn't make sense, not for him. Not for us. Steve is my hero, but I kind of feel betrayed by him right now.”

 

Alex dropped that bombshell just as they got to the car. Kyle wanted to ask him so many follow up questions, but he knew not to push. He just got in and concentrated on driving them home safely. He still kept glancing at Alex. Alex was glaring at his leg.

 

“You can take it off if it hurts. Doesn't bother me.”

 

“You sure?”

 

“I'm a Doctor. I've seen worse.” Alex seemed to accept that, stripping out of his jeans so he could finally loosen the prosthetic. His stump looked a little sore. Agitated. “You should have worn a sock. When was the last time you were fitted?”

 

“It's fine.” Alex insisted, finally dumping the crutches in the back seat, almost hitting Kyle. “Sorry.”

 

“You'd be sorry if we crashed.” Kyle teased, but soon realized it was no joke. “Wouldn't you?”

 

“I wouldn't risk your life like that.”

 

“That wasn't the answer I wanted to hear.”

 

“I'm not suicidal over a movie.”

 

“Didn't say you were. Not just about the movie. But I don't think it helped.”

 

“I'm not suicidal.” Alex insisted, tone hard and body language rigid. Then he saw how worried Kyle was, and he deflated. “I mean, I'm not going to act on it, so you can relax.”

 

“I won't be able to relax knowing you're even thinking about it.”

 

“It's hard not to. Surrounded by all that death. You've got to think about it too.”

 

“Yeah, but I don't think I deserve it.”

 

“Nobody deserves to die like that. And I'm grateful to be alive. I am. I just don't know why. And it's exhausting. Surviving is exhausting, Valenti. I survived high school. I survived my father, I think. I'm just... tired.”

 

“I'm sorry.”

 

“Don't be. High school was a long time ago. You're a good friend to me now, and that's all that matters. You're kind of the only friend I have left, but it's enough. Enough of a reason for me to keep surviving. No matter how exhausting it is.”

 

“Damn straight it is. And you can call me, whenever you need me to remind you of that. Whatever you need, you can always ask.”

 

“What if I don't know what I need?”

 

“Then we can figure it out, together. We're pretty good at figuring stuff out. We make a pretty good team.”

 

“Like Bucky and Steve.” Alex sighed, shaking his head. “I don't understand how Steve could abandon Bucky in the future like that. They were best friends, and they've been through so much. Steve wouldn't just leave him, to go back to a racist and sexist time, to be with an incredible woman who is an amazing character in her own right. But did you get any sense of her character in the movie?”

 

“I'm not even sure who she is.” Kyle admitted, unable to hide a small small at the prospect of hearing a lecture from Alex.

 

“Margaret Elizabeth Carter. Also known as Peggy. She was a codebreaker during World War II. She helped choose and shape Steve Rogers into a superhero before and after he was injected with the super soldier serum. And she kept working after his disappearance, when he landed his plane into the ice in a rather heroic and self-sacrificing move.

 

She kept working, through that loss, through the loss of her brother, Michael. She helped to found S.H.I.E.L.D. Strategic Homeland Intervention and Enforcement, Logistics Division. An entire organization, built to protect.

 

She helped Tony Stark's father, in so many ways. She cleared his name when he was accused of being a traitor.

 

Peggy Carter is an amazing woman, who deserves to be remembered as more than the chick Steve went back in time to make a life with. She got her own show, where she moved on from him. Even if they didn't watch the show, the movies showed old Carter talking to Steve when he was brought back from the ice in the present day. She told him what a happy and full life she'd led.” Alex was still fuming, and his eyes were brighter for it.

 

“She sounds like a smart woman.” Kyle agreed. “Wouldn't she have known it was a different Steve who came back to her? Are they just going to ignore the fact there's another Steve in the ice? I don't get it.”

 

“I don't get it either. I mean, I would get it if Steve had stayed to find Bucky and make sure he was never tortured. I'd get it if Steve was too busy fighting HYDRA in the 1940s and he missed his chance to jump back to the present. But to imply Steve was getting tired of fighting so he abandoned his best friend and a present time line that desperately needs heroes, he ditched all that to be a house husband in the past. It's like... screw the world, screw friendship, romantic love is all that counts. And it doesn't matter who the romance is with, as long as it's the opposite sex. Gay Joe Russo is all the LGTBQ crowd deserves to get.” Kyle glanced at Alex, confused but intrigued. “Steve has made out with Sharon Carter on screen before. Peggy's great-niece.”

 

“Oh. Ew.”

 

“Yeah. I'm sure fans will claim it as proof that he was still hung up on Peggy, but that's not cool. Makes it look like he was just using Carter, without really caring who she was. Sharon Carter deserved better. Bucky Barnes deserves better. And Peggy found better. She had her work, and she fell in love with Daniel Sousa.

 

Daniel Sousa is kind of a hero of mine. He was injured during the war, his platoon saved by Steve Rogers, but he still had to use crutches. He got bullied for it. For that, and the fact he was in love with Peggy. He didn't think he had a chance with her, not after she'd been involved with Captain America. They both had viable love interests, but they realized they loved eachother. They chose eachother. Guess that's meaningless now.”

 

“No, it's not. If that's the love story you want to believe in, you keep believing in it. Ignore the movie.”

 

“It's not so easy to ignore, now that it's out there. I would never have thought there'd be a universe where Captain America could disappoint me, but they found it. It's stupid, right?”

 

“No, it's not. It's not stupid at all. Everybody has someone they look up to, admire, aspire to be like. And, if you can't find that in real life, comic books aren't the worse place to look.”

 

“Steve Rogers was always a hero to me.” Alex confessed. “I'm not talking about Captain America. I mean the scrawny little kid from Brooklyn. The one that had a million health problems, got the snot beaten out of him daily, but he never backed down from a fight. He's my hero. But he got older, and he got tired of fighting.

 

You know that scene in the elevator? In 2012, he took out all those HYDRA agents. This time, he avoided the fight by pretending to be one of them. That would be like me pretending to be like my dad and my brothers. It's probably smarter, but Steve Rogers doesn't do the smart thing. He does the right thing. He'd never pretend to be one of the bad guys, not even to avoid a fight. That's not my hero.”

 

“What would your hero do?”

 

“Steve Rogers would fight to the death. He wouldn't let Tony use the gauntlet, he'd have jumped on that grenade himself. He'd use it, and destroy Thanos' army, make Thanos mortal so that Gamora and Nebula and maybe even Wanda could kill him for what he had done to them. He'd have thanked Bucky for being his friend, told Sam to keep fighting for the freedom of all. Bucky really would have been with him until the end of the line. And then, if they really wanted Steve to be with Peggy, she would have appeared to him as a dying hallucination. He'd finally get to dance with her, as the battlefield fades away, as his life fades. That's what my Steve would do.”

 

“Will you quit making me cry when I'm driving?” Kyle laughed, but he did have to wipe away a tear. “Maybe they didn't want him to die.”

 

“Captain America never dies. Steve Rogers' legacy and his memory would live on. Even Stark would show his gratitude, at the funeral. Steve gave him the chance to be a father to Morgan. That should be Stark's ending. No more limelight. No more press. Just trying to be the best person he can be for his family.”

 

“You ever think about writing your own story?” Kyle wanted to read it. He wanted to hear it. He wanted to be a part of it.

 

“You mean the airforce, or the aliens part of it?” Alex dismissed.

 

“I meant the emotion. You still writing songs?”

 

“No. I stopped when...” Alex swallowed hard, mind going to some dark place where Kyle couldn't follow. “Didn't seem fair to write songs when Michael could no longer play.”

 

“That's not your fault.”

 

“Yeah it is. My dad...”

 

“You're not him. And even if you couldn't protect him from your dad, that still makes it your dad's fault. Not yours.” Kyle gave Alex a moment to process that. “You should write songs again. You don't have to play them for anybody. Just write them as a way to get out what's in your head. And your heart.”

 

“'Even Fictional Men Fail Me', is a great title.” There was that biting sarcasm again, but Kyle didn't take it personally. “Steve abandoning Bucky to be with Peggy in the past, doesn't make sense.”

 

Kyle bit his tongue. He wasn't going to be the one to mention Michael or Maria, even though the parallel was striking. That relationship was a farce. Alex deserved better. Kyle just didn't know how to tell him that.

 

“We're almost home. You should put your leg back on. And your pants.” Kyle smiled hearing Alex chuckle as he started to get dressed.

 

Kyle parked at the cabin. The crutches stayed in the car, so Kyle made sure to be at Alex's side, in case he was feeling unsteady. Any annoyance Alex felt melted when he realized Kyle wasn't looking out for him out of pity, but out of friendship.

 

“Thankyou. For tonight. For everything. For the movie. For the meal. For listening to me talk.”

 

“Thank you. For the education. I know I've still got a lot to learn, about Marvel and stuff, but it's been fun. Having you teach me. Hearing you talk about it. I really had a good time.”

 

“If you're not sick of me or Marvel, we could watch Iron Man tomorrow. Later today, I guess.” It was past midnight, and the beers had Alex feeling like he could actually sleep for once.

 

“I thought you hated Tony Stark.”

 

“I can take him in small doses. And Iron Man I is pretty cool. It's amazing how political it gets away with being, how anti-war it is, but most guys don't notice because they're too busy jacking off to a narcissistic jerk. A lot of guys think they would be Stark if they had the money, but Tony has got to be the dumbest genius ever. He's proof that good isn't nice.” Alex frowned. “I should be nicer.”

 

“You're good as you are. And I'm looking forward to Iron Man. Subtitles on, so you can talk me through it?” Kyle sounded so hopeful that it made Alex blush slightly, but he eventually nodded. “Great. It's a date.” Kyle froze the moment the words escaped his mouth, then he made a dash for his car.

 

“Kyle, wait!” Alex's voice stopped him. “Was this a date?”

 

“What does it matter?” Kyle squirmed, unable to look Alex in the eyes.

 

“Doesn't really. Just, sometimes, I like to end a date with a kiss. Helps me determine whether or not there's going to be a second date.” They'd already decided that there was going to be a second date. Alex just wanted to know if it would include kissing.

 

“Yes.” Kyle blurted out, far too quickly, speaking whilst he still had the courage to.

 

“Are you sure, because --” Kyle cut Alex off with a kiss, pressing his lips against Alex's, too scared to move at first. Kyle was about to pull back, but Alex was the one who leaned forward, kissing with a passion Kyle had never experienced before, a passion he returned, opening up and moaning at the overwhelming sensation. Eventually, reluctantly, they both parted, needing to breathe. “Wow.”

 

“I think I've been wanting to do that for... years.” Kyle admitted.

 

“Was it worth the wait?” Kyle answered Alex's question with another playful kiss, tender and exploratory. “Save something for the second date.” Alex teased, and Kyle pulled back with a groan.

 

“Tonight?” He was panting heavily, pupils blown with lust. Alex was sorely tempted to pull Kyle inside and have his way with him there and then.

 

“Tonight.” Kyle nodded and started to walk back to his car, but he turned back to say one last thing.

 

“Alex, I know you're bummed that Steve Rogers isn't the hero you thought he was. That he's not the man you thought we was. I'm really sorry that he's with Peggy and she didn't really get a say in it. I'm sorry he left Bucky. He's an idiot. But Sam Wilson isn't an idiot. Maybe he can the hero you deserve. Maybe he can be the friend that Bucky deserves.” Kyle left Alex with that hopeful thought.

 

Endgame was a disappointment, but it wasn't the end of the world. For the first time in a long time, Alex felt like he had some say in his own story, and he was damn well going to try and make it a happier one, with a little help from Kyle.

 

The future was still full of possibilities.

 


End file.
